Keep true to the dreams of thy youth. 
- Friedrich von Schiller German dramatist & poet (1759 - 1805)

You know, I hear a lot of quotes and sayings like the one above. So many great people, famous people, and would be mentors extolling us to “follow your dreams”, and “don’t give up until you reach the goal”. Naturally, we look to famous or great people who have met success and are living their dreams for advice on achieving ours. Our logic goes something like this: by looking at the characteristics of this special group of people we can figure out how they did it. Like the quote above, we discover a set of traits, like sticking to one’s goals at all costs, taking risks, never giving up, etc. The formula is then quite simple: develop these characteristics in ourselves.

Here’s the problem with this logic: what we often forgot to do or consider is to take a look at a less visible group of people: people who have failed, people who spent their life chasing a dream that never came to fruition and look at their attributes and behaviours. We would probably discover that some of the same characteristics are shared by this set of people, characteristics like “always following your dream”. What does this mean? One logical conclusion is that achieving your dreams may be more a matter of luck than anything else.

Am I advocating that one does not follow one’s dream? That we give up when the going gets tough? That a mind focused squarely on a goal is not any better than a lazy one? Not at all. I am just wondering if there is some authenticity, some power in accepting that even if we put our entire being into achieving a dream or certain goal, we might not achieve a given end. Why is this authentic? Because if you accept that you will probably fail in spite of your best efforts, and you still want to walk on that journey - it is probably something you truly love. It is probably infinitely worth your time.

I think it also reminds us of the power we have to choose not to work towards a given goal. I think many, including myself, suffer from dream/goal clutter. Ideas and passions we have accumulated through our lives that are all very worthy, and because they are so worthy we do not even allow ourselves to think to let them go. There is a sense of guilt for not staying true to an earlier or even current intention, investment in time, passion and emotion.

How about an example? Years ago, I used to play music semi-professionally. I had a dream that I would be a famous musician. I would lose myself in my playing and it felt so right. This dream stirred my entire being. Life has moved on since then, and suffice it to say, I don’t play much anymore, but I think I have never allowed myself to let go of this dream. When listening to music, I would imagine myself playing as much as anything else. Last night it occurred to me, finally, that I would probably not become a famous musician some day and that it was really ok to let go of this dream. I can only describe it as relief. Last night, for the first time, I listened to some music and truly enjoyed just listening to music - without the guilt and/or overhead of an unfulfilled goal. Keep true to the dreams of thy youth - I don’t think so.

Thanks

To James Jordon for the great photograph.

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How do you run 26.2 miles if you have trouble making it around the block? With good coaching, discipline, and lots of group support, as NOVA shows when it follows 13 generally sedentary people through a training regimen designed to prepare them for an ultimate test of stamina and endurance.

Source: PBS.org

The team of people featured ranged from 22 to 60 years old, were not athletic, and in fact were mostly in poor health (I recall them mentioning at one point in the show that almost all of them were technically obese). Members of the group included a smoker, a heart attack victim and someone living with HIV.  Within 9 months, all but one ran and finished all 26.2 miles of the marathon.

For me, it was a real life story about achievement against the odds and was pretty amazing. Now I am not advocating that we all need to run a marathon. However, it got me to thinking that nothing extraordinary happens or gets accomplished without some kind of compelling reason. Every one of the runners had a compelling reason to sign up for what I am sure seemed like a daunting task (I get tired running up the stairs, so running a marathon within 9 months seems pretty wild to me). The reasons we will attempt big things are usually emotionally charged and I think are usually matters of the heart. I also figure that the bigger the reason, the more extraordinary the outcome.

In a way, this is all in the same spirit as good old fashioned goal setting, and also consistent with Tim Ferriss’ dreamlining. We have all heard the cliches: you can’t get from A to B if you don’t know what B is, etc, etc. Yet why do so few of us actually set big, extraordinary goals? Why do so many of us find excuses to put off doing that which we think we would truly love to be doing? Ferriss suggests:

In part, it’s laziness…the easiest way to postpone the intense self-examination and decision making necessary to create a life of enjoyment…

Source: The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss.

Is it laziness? Maybe, if we are honest, it is because deep down inside we know we don’t even have any big ideas, or worse, there is really no emotionally compelling reason behind our lives to want to achieve them. Stepping up to the plate of living life on purpose would cause us to admit that maybe we are kind of empty and void of a reason. Maybe we would have to admit we are actually small and unimportant. Or maybe not:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Source: Paraphrased from A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson.

Deep and I feel at least somewhat true - some people simply exude possibility and I find simply being in their company liberates me from my way of being for a time (by the way, for all you etymologists out there, exude is from the latin exsudare, from ex- + sudare, literally to sweat). So are we afraid because we think we cannot be great, or because we actually know we can be extraordinary?

Dreamline

While we are on the topic of dreamlining, Jared over at Technotheory has created a dreamline worksheet available for download. Besides this really nice implementation of the dreamline procedure, the Technotheory blog also has a great Four Hour Workweek category with lots of related material. Jared is also working on a solution called AwayFind that promises to be very compelling for those on the 4-Hour Workweek quest.

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