Personal Development

Letting Go

No Comments » Written on April 8th, 2008 by Brick
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dreamsKeep true to the dreams of thy youth. 
- Friedrich von Schiller German dramatist & poet (1759 - 1805)

 

You know, I hear a lot of quotes and sayings like the one above. So many great people, famous people, and would be mentors extolling us to "follow your dreams", and "don't give up until you reach the goal". Naturally, we look to famous or great people who have met success and are living their dreams for advice on achieving ours. Our logic goes something like this: by looking at the characteristics of this special group of people we can figure out how they did it. Like the quote above, we discover a set of traits, like sticking to one's goals at all costs, taking risks, never giving up, etc. The formula is then quite simple: develop these characteristics in ourselves.

Here's the problem with this logic: what we often forgot to do or consider is to take a look at a less visible group of people: people who have failed, people who spent their life chasing a dream that never came to fruition and look at their attributes and behaviours. We would probably discover that some of the same characteristics are shared by this set of people, characteristics like "always following your dream". What does this mean? One logical conclusion is that achieving your dreams may be more a matter of luck than anything else.

Am I advocating that one does not follow one's dream? That we give up when the going gets tough? That a mind focused squarely on a goal is not any better than a lazy one? Not at all. I am just wondering if there is some authenticity, some power in accepting that even if we put our entire being into achieving a dream or certain goal, we might not achieve a given end. Why is this authentic? Because if you accept that you will probably fail in spite of your best efforts, and you still want to walk on that journey - it is probably something you truly love. It is probably infinitely worth your time.

I think it also reminds us of the power we have to choose not to work towards a given goal. I think many, including myself, suffer from dream/goal clutter. Ideas and passions we have accumulated through our lives that are all very worthy, and because they are so worthy we do not even allow ourselves to think to let them go. There is a sense of guilt for not staying true to an earlier or even current intention, investment in time, passion and emotion.

How about an example? Years ago, I used to play music semi-professionally. I had a dream that I would be a famous musician. I would lose myself in my playing and it felt so right. This dream stirred my entire being. Life has moved on since then, and suffice it to say, I don't play much anymore, but I think I have never allowed myself to let go of this dream. When listening to music, I would imagine myself playing as much as anything else. Last night it occurred to me, finally, that I would probably not become a famous musician some day and that it was really ok to let go of this dream. I can only describe it as relief. Last night, for the first time, I listened to some music and truly enjoyed just listening to music - without the guilt and/or overhead of an unfulfilled goal. Keep true to the dreams of thy youth - I don't think so.

Thanks

To James Jordon for the great photograph.

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Seven Habits – Habit 1: Be Proactive

No Comments » Written on March 10th, 2008 by Brick
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Due to the similarities between the Time Management Matrix of Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People and my own Life Management matrix, I decided to read the book again. I had first read the book in the early 90's and while I am not the type of person who reads books a second time, I am already glad I went back to it. I am also the kind of person that likes to start from the very first page and read sequentially forward until the end (although I have picked up the useful habit of giving up on a book if I find at any point that I am truly not enjoying it - in and of itself a great time management tip).

After an inspiring introductory chapter, Covey starts on his 7 habits, the first being the habit of being proactive. It starts with a discussion on how we react to various stimuli in our environment. Here are two models to consider:

Model 1: Conditioned Response

 

srmod1tran

In this model, we are conditioned to respond in a certain manner. Perhaps genetically we are predisposed to alcoholism. Perhaps as a child you learned from your parents to deal with upset by losing your temper. Perhaps your spouse is pushing all of the right buttons to trigger a conditioned response!

Model 2: Choice

srmod2tran

In this model, we choose a response to any given stimulus. While we still may not control the actual stimulus, we consciously choose how to respond. Perhaps your spouse is pushing all of the right buttons that would ordinarily make you lose your temper, but you decide not to get angry. You decide that the underlying issue is not that big a deal and you go outside to take a walk instead, maybe to reflect on what might really be getting at your better half. You come back refreshed and ready to have a civil conversation. The basis of Habit 1: Be Proactive is built upon accepting that this model is valid and superior.

Which Model Is Best?

Here is what I think: both models are accurate descriptions of how we do, and can, deal with stimuli to produce a response. I think the difference lies in what level of thought these two models reside within. In my opinion, a conditioned response is an unconscious response, while a conscious decision on how to deal with a situation is exactly that - a mental action that takes place in the conscious domain of thought.

One thing you might ask is why do we most often operate according to the first model - conditioned responses - when the second model is so superior? The answer, I believe, is that having the freedom to choose one's response to a given stimulus is not always the superior model! There exist situations where we do not have the time to make a conscious decision on how to react. Conditioned responses allow us to act according to a genetic or learned behaviour, virtually without having to take the time to think about it. There are situations where this time save is critical (e.g. running away from a lion). We can imagine that in times past, this mechanism of a conditioned response was probably critical for humanity's very survival.

We can also imagine that given the importance of conditioned response to our very survival, we are biologically predisposed to acting according to conditioned responses. Acting according to conditioned responses is therefore easier, which is probably why we continue act out according to conditioned behaviour for much of our lives regardless of the specific stimulus.

Like most things, it is probably not an all or nothing proposition. There is a time and a place for conditioned responses and conscious decisions. In the past, we can imagine that the a optimum distribution of unconscious to conscious reactions probably favoured conditioned responses:

choice1

As we leave the cave, this predisposition to conditioned responses may not be as ideal as it once was.  Who knows, maybe as a species we will evolve to the point that making conscious decisions on how to act will become as easy as our conditioned responses. However, as basic survival becomes less of a concern, we are probably much more effective when we make conscious choices in most everyday situations. That doesn't mean that all conditioned responses are bad, and in fact, without adequate time to think about a response, we still need to rely on conditioned responses. We can image that the optimum distribution of unconscious to conscious reactions probably now favours conscious responses:

choice2

The Importance Of Time Management

So, let's assume that (1) acting according to conditioned responses is easier, (2) that in most everyday situations, conscious choice is usually superior to conditioned responses, yet (3) conscious choices require more time to generate a response. One can clearly see that without adequate time, we almost have no option but to act out according to conditioned behaviour. If conscious choices will provide the basis for proactivity and greater effectiveness as Covey suggests, we need the luxury of time to make these choices. If we have too much on our plate, I can see how we will inevitably slide into conditioned response mode - out of sheer necessity. Therefore, while I mostly accept Covey's proposition, it rests, in my opinion, on the fundamental need to organize your time so as to have the time to make conscious decisions.

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4-Hour Workweek: Easier Said Than Done?

3 comments Written on March 7th, 2008 by Brick
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Shortly after starting this blog, I decided I needed to extend the scope beyond the confines of The 4-Hour Workweek. I realized that the main epiphany for me when reading the book was Timothy Ferriss' insistence that we should abandon the deferred life plan where we work like hell in the prime of our lives, save as much as we can and then retire - a plan that is ultimately just a "socially reinforced illusion". Life does not have to be this hard, instead we could choose to master time and mobility and create fulfilling lifestyles today. I realized that it is this questioning of unquestioned assumptions that often leads to paradigm shifts in our lives. The 4-Hour Workweek is but one example of someone stepping outside the box of conventional wisdom.

That being said, The 4-Hour Workweek offers a lot of tactical and practical advice on how to work less and live more. I still want to work a 4-hour workweek, I still want to dreamline, and I still want to develop new and novel revenue sources to fund my new lifestyle, and so, this blog remains a 4-Hour Workweek Journal. However, in reading my own posts, I sometimes get the feeling I have given an all knowing, all perfect, almost omniscient quality to Mr. Ferriss. I suppose I have become a bit of a disciple, but my initial desire to journal my following his advice was bourne out of both a hope that his methods would prove helpful and a healthy dose of skepticism.

Since I have provided my fair share of glowing praise for The 4-Hour Workweek in my posts, in the spirit of balance I thought I would also share a little more explicitly what makes me a bit of a sceptic:

It's Easier When You Start Rich

Let's face it, Ferriss was already making a good chunk of change before preaching his work-less, live-more mantra. Its seems to me that he was somewhat rich the old fashioned way before he reduced his work week down to four hours and joined the newly rich. This suggests that one might be more successful in attaining a 4-hour workweek if one were starting from a position of relative wealth and means.

Easy Money

I think Ferris may recognize this and so to get us into the same position of wealth, he suggests how we might create self running businesses, or muses as he calls them, that will supply us with an endless cashflow to fund our new found desire to trot the globe. All you have to do is market a product on the Internet and outsource the fulfillment of orders and the handling of customer service. Its that easy! Besides giving a few examples of what others have done, he does not really discuss how we comes up with or find these magical products. I don't mean to sound too harsh, but sometimes it comes off sounding a bit like Don Lapre (this is the guy from the early 90's with the late night infomercials claiming that by placing "tiny classified ads" in newspapers he was able to make $50,000 per week from his one bedroom apartment). Tiny classified ads... Google Adsense...

What About the Kids?

While he goes to great pains to explain how his method applies equally to salaried employees and people with kids, in the end, he started as a business owner and he does not have kids. I'm just saying.

I Still Hope

I just wanted to share what makes me skeptical. It is nothing more than my opinion - the opinion of a man still living, one could argue, an at least somewhat "socially reinforced illusion". In fairness, I do want to reiterate my first point: regardless of the meat of the book, Ferriss opens our eyes to our unconscious acceptance of the work-hard-now-enjoy-life-later plan. This, in and of itself, is of immense value. At minimum, this creates an opening, allowing us to have a conscious choice and to consider new options. Lastly, it was the reading of The 4-Hour Workweek that got me started on the idea that things could be different and more fulfilling in my own life. It is still early days for me, and my first steps have been rather timid and safe, but already I feel like things are better. My attitude has improved and things just seem brighter. Can we still be friends Tim?

By the way, this is for those of you who remember the infamous Don Lapre:

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I’ve Been Asked To Edit The 4-Hour Workweek!

1 Comment » Written on February 20th, 2008 by Brick
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Yes, it's true. Author Tim Ferriss has invited me to edit his best selling book The 4-Hour Workweek. Here's the thing: he has basically extended this invitation to everyone! For those who wish to contribute, Ferriss is collecting ideas via an open wiki for the next edition of the book:

I want an improved and expanded 4HWW to help propel the critical mass needed for large-scale institutional, and even policy-level, change. The book alone won’t do it, obviously, but I believe it can play a small part as instigator.

Source: The Blog of Tim Ferriss.

I think this is an interesting strategy. A lot of people (including myself obviously) have been inspired by the ideas behind the book and have made new innovations in lifestyle design using the book as a starting point. As Ferriss says: "we" is smarter than "me".

Ferriss goes on to say:

To my knowledge, this is the first time a NY Times bestseller has ever been made open to public editing. In fact, I haven’t seen any traditionally-published book ever crowdsourced on a global scale.

Source: The Blog of Time Ferriss.

Well, I am not so sure about that. Robert Scoble and Shel Israel, the authors of the best selling Naked Conversations, put chapters of their book on their blog for review. In essence, that book (or at least a good portion of it) was edited by the blogosphere. I believe there are other examples (as far as I know Producing Open Source Software was - fittingly - reviewed by many online before being published). By the way, I highly recommend both of these books, although the later will probably most interest those who work in the software industry.

Anyway, here is your chance to leave your mark on the book that started it all while Ferriss gets his book updated and fact checked virtually for free - which is cool - after all crowdsouring is just another version of outsourcing!

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Your Possessions Own You

4 comments Written on February 19th, 2008 by Brick
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Last week I was watching Fight Club (very cool movie!). I was struck by one line in particular. At one point in the movie, the character Tyler Durden (played by Brad Pitt) says:

You don’t own the things-the things own you.

Source: Fight Club

Now I think Durden was making a broad commentary on our corporately controlled consumer culture, suggesting that it destroys individuality. I however, started to think about this notion in a much more shallow yet pragmatic sense: let's say you buy a car. You think you bought it to get you from A to B, and no doubt it fulfills that need. However, besides what you needed (to get from A to B) you now need to put gas in the car, wash it, buy insurance for it, take it in for scheduled maintenance and repairs, etc. The car, in a very real sense, owns you! There are so many possessions like this - think about your house!

One logical deduction is that the more stuff you have, the more time, money and attention it costs you to maintain it all. Let this idea sit with you for a while, and you might start to consider that less (stuff) is perhaps more (life). I am not saying we should not own things - we should. What I am suggesting is that we should be careful in what we choose to own, we should plan and actively manage what we own. Call it stuff management.

It's All Too Much

I read Peter Walsh's It's All Too Much over the weekend. Walsh is a professional organizer and is probably best known for his part in TLC's Clean Sweep television series. In the show, Walsh helps homeowners transform areas overrun by clutter to functional, organized living spaces. In an interesting coincidence, the quote that precedes the introduction in his book is exactly the same quote from Fight Club that resonated with me the week before!

Walsh's claim that an over abundance of possessions (especially the clutter) costs us money, time, physical space and emotion is consistent with the thought that we don't have stuff - it has us. One idea I liked from the book was that getting rid of the clutter does not actually start with cleaning up. While that seems like a logical first step, it would be like implementing a time management system by creating a gigantic to-do list. Just like a good time management system, we need to start with planning and prioritization before we start cleaning up.

Vision

Look beyond the clutter and imagine the life you want to be living. What does your ideal living space that supports that life look like? How do you want to feel when you walk into the place? It may sound like overkill, but consider that you will probably spend a considerable amount of time in this space. The space and the life you want to live should be consistent or at least complimentary. For example, when I decided to follow the tenets of The 4-Hour Workweek, I imagined a home office as a neat, hyper-efficient work space. Elimination would take the form of minimal visual distraction: there would be no clutter, required items would be filed neatly. My desk drawers would be tidy and not full - just the essentials. Flat surfaces would be clear. Automation would take the form of a single high end computer, a wireless LAN, a single printer/scanner/fax, and a cordless speaker phone. Most importantly, besides the desk, chair and filing cabinet, that is all I would have in my home office. That vision of my home office gave me the feeling of getting things done and doing business.

Function

The next step is to get it on paper. For example, by documenting what my home office space is being used for today vs. my vision, I can easily determine what has to go. Here is my home office room function chart:

Room Function

At this point, you have a plan and can start eliminating stuff and cleaning up. Now I can start cleaning up!

I highly recommend It's All Too Much, as it will go into this entire process at a greater level of detail. It also covers strategies for cleaning and organizing, dealing with emotional attachment to items, and tips for handling clutter on a room by room basis.

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A Reason To Live

No Comments » Written on January 20th, 2008 by Brick
Categories: Articles, Personal Development

Over the weekend I was watching a NOVA episode on thirteen novices training for the Boston Marathon. As described by PBS:

How do you run 26.2 miles if you have trouble making it around the block? With good coaching, discipline, and lots of group support, as NOVA shows when it follows 13 generally sedentary people through a training regimen designed to prepare them for an ultimate test of stamina and endurance.

Source: PBS.org

The team of people featured ranged from 22 to 60 years old, were not athletic, and in fact were mostly in poor health (I recall them mentioning at one point in the show that almost all of them were technically obese). Members of the group included a smoker, a heart attack victim and someone living with HIV.  Within 9 months, all but one ran and finished all 26.2 miles of the marathon.

For me, it was a real life story about achievement against the odds and was pretty amazing. Now I am not advocating that we all need to run a marathon. However, it got me to thinking that nothing extraordinary happens or gets accomplished without some kind of compelling reason. Every one of the runners had a compelling reason to sign up for what I am sure seemed like a daunting task (I get tired running up the stairs, so running a marathon within 9 months seems pretty wild to me). The reasons we will attempt big things are usually emotionally charged and I think are usually matters of the heart. I also figure that the bigger the reason, the more extraordinary the outcome.

In a way, this is all in the same spirit as good old fashioned goal setting, and also consistent with Tim Ferriss' dreamlining. We have all heard the cliches: you can't get from A to B if you don't know what B is, etc, etc. Yet why do so few of us actually set big, extraordinary goals? Why do so many of us find excuses to put off doing that which we think we would truly love to be doing? Ferriss suggests:

In part, it's laziness...the easiest way to postpone the intense self-examination and decision making necessary to create a life of enjoyment...

Source: The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss.

Is it laziness? Maybe, if we are honest, it is because deep down inside we know we don't even have any big ideas, or worse, there is really no emotionally compelling reason behind our lives to want to achieve them. Stepping up to the plate of living life on purpose would cause us to admit that maybe we are kind of empty and void of a reason. Maybe we would have to admit we are actually small and unimportant. Or maybe not:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Source: Paraphrased from A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson.

Deep and I feel at least somewhat true - some people simply exude possibility and I find simply being in their company liberates me from my way of being for a time (by the way, for all you etymologists out there, exude is from the latin exsudare, from ex- + sudare, literally to sweat). So are we afraid because we think we cannot be great, or because we actually know we can be extraordinary?

Dreamline

While we are on the topic of dreamlining, Jared over at Technotheory has created a dreamline worksheet available for download. Besides this really nice implementation of the dreamline procedure, the Technotheory blog also has a great Four Hour Workweek category with lots of related material. Jared is also working on a solution called AwayFind that promises to be very compelling for those on the 4-Hour Workweek quest.

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Day Two

2 comments Written on December 28th, 2007 by Brick
Categories: Articles, Personal Development, Productivity

Well, actually it has been five days since I bought the book that inspired me to start this journal, and three days since I started the blog. "Day Two" just sounds more exciting. One interesting activity when you have an idea is to see if someone else has thought of it first.  You will find that usually someone has, and the case of a 4-Hour Workweek inspired blog is no exception to this truism. While I thought I might be doing something novel, it turns out that at Internet speeds, others have beat me to the punch! A quick search on Google provided a couple other blogs directly inspired by The 4-Hour Workweek:

They are also going to try following the principles of the book and see what happens.  So that's at least three experiments out there in cyber space for everyone to follow, and I am sure there are more.  I have added these to my Blogroll because I can. If you know of others, let me know.  I will also add them to my links as I come across them.  Just think - a whole virtual community of 4-Hour Workweek bloggers.

I just about finished my first quick reading of The 4-Hour Workweek. I read slowly. My intention is to go back and carefully reread the book applying the principles set forth in the book. What I can say is that Tim Ferriss challenges a lot of assumptions and his overall message is worth hearing, regardless of the outcome of my, or any experiment that uses the book as inspiration. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and I very much recommend you get yourself a copy.  You should get that copy by clicking here.

I have already been on fire since I started the book.  In a little over four hours I did the following over the last two days:

    Obviously I need to outsource this kind of work, but that will have to wait until I have shed the shackles of my 9-5 salaried employee brainwashing and established contact with India. Despite doing everything myself, I still find it amazing what you can accomplish in a short amount of time.  Let's hope this is just the start!

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A Holiday Miracle

1 Comment » Written on December 27th, 2007 by Brick
Categories: Articles, Personal Development, Productivity

It's December 24th, and I am in Borders doing last minute Christmas shopping. There can be a certain panic associated with shopping on December 24th, and certainly because of the seemingly endless demands of my job, I have left too much of my holiday shopping until the last minute.  But the bookstore is a great place, in my opinion, to pick up a whole bunch of gifts all at once - a veritable "one stop shop" - who cannot possibly benefit from some nicely packaged information? And besides, they gift wrap at this location.

So I deftly start picking up some great gifts: Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat for my globally aware sister, Kevin Smith's My Boring Ass Life for a friend who donated a Saturday to help me drink - I mean build a deck - and has completely memorized the screenplay of Jay and Silent Bob, and The Omnivore's Dilemma for my wife. I have everything I need but of course I continue to browse, and that's when it catches my eye: The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris.  The cover promises that this book can help me "escape 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich".  I don't know what or who the new rich is, but I know instinctively that I definitely want to be one of them. I am sold. I have always had a soft spot for the self improvement genre, I suppose due to an unconscious acknowledgement that I could do better in life. And it comes with such credibility: "The #1 Wall Street Journal Bestseller"! I personally don't know anyone at the Journal, but I am quite sure they know something about great books.

Alas, I have already overspent on gifts this year and being a member of the aforementioned 9-5 crowd, there are certain financial realities. I add up the price of the three gift books and realize that The 4-Hour Work Week is simply a luxury I cannot afford, despite it's promise to liberate me from this very financial predicament (what irony!). So with a little sadness, I put the book down and make my way to the checkout.  The line is easily 25 people deep so I settle into a catatonic near sleep state staring blindly forward at nothing, the kind of poor micro rest you wrenchingly take advantage of anyway to get a second's respite from your hectic life and its endless demands (job, kids, money, etc. etc...)...

Cashier: Next

Me: (delay as I awake from my reverie and walk to the counter) Hi

Cashier: You realize that if you buy three books today, you get a fourth one free.

Me: No I didn't (to myself: if I did, I would have four books with me, wouldn't I?)

Cashier: Why don't you grab another book.  You can come right back to me once you have it and you won't have to wait in line.

Me: Ok!

Clearly, this is a sign! I was meant to read The 4-Hour Work Week. I am now quite sure that this book will transform my life. However, here's the thing, I have bought and read quite a few self improvement, business leadership type books, and while they are all usually a pleasure to read, I wonder if they have really changed my life that much.  Maybe, I have been able to take some of that mentoring and have made some incremental improvements to my lifestyle. Maybe. But I am still not rich, am I? I am still working 60+ hours a week, I am still totally stressed out! What makes The 4-Hour Work Week any different?

I have decided to find out. In a fit of creativity, it dawned on me to follow any "instructions" in the book seriously and create a journal documenting my trials and tribulations, my successes and failures, my hopes and dreams as I use The 4-Hour Work Week as my blueprint for lifestyle transformation! This being the 21st century, it is only fitting that such a journal be a blog, a blog you find yourself reading right now! So welcome all, wish me luck, and follow along on my quest to join the new rich!

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