Archive for July, 2008

Job Interviews & NLP

This is a short and rather entertaining video from O'Reilly's Ignite event. VJ describes how Neuro-Linguistic Programming ("NLP") techniques can be used in a job interview:

 

While the presentation was light, and the presenter made some humorous comments, it almost seems like the audience thought the whole thing was some kind of joke! Too bad, because I think there was some good (serious) advice in this presentation.

For me, NLP is also a victim of late night infomercial syndrome. For whatever reason, what is probably a serious, credible field of study loses some of it's luster when made available to the masses in three easy payments. I have ascribed this syndrome to the likes of Don Lapre, which I have alluded to in an earlier post. In the case of NLP, the infomercial version comes in the form of Anthony Robbins. And just like Mr. Lapre, there exists a rather excellent spoof:

A demonstration of the power of suggestion: subscribe to the Life Sutra today!

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Is Straight Talk Really Beneficial?

Criticism is futile  because it puts a person on the defensive and usually  makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

- Dale Carnegie

Are you a big proponent of talking "straight"? Is criticism alright if it's "constructive"? I have always been a big proponent of both. I have colleagues from Asia where the concept of saving face is very important. I have witnessed people literally dancing around an issue to save someone a supposed embarrassment and considered how foolish it all was. I suppose in some sort of sense of being privy to superior methods, I have extolled the virtues of saying what you mean, and not talking things personally.

About a week ago, I read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The very first principle in chapter one: don't criticize. It was after reading this chapter that I started to question this fundamental assumption I had regarding the benefits of saying exactly what you mean, especially when what you mean includes a criticism. While we could suggest that what we want to say should not be taken personally, how can we know it won't? We could be "constructive" and criticize a person's particular action, satisfied that we did not criticize the person directly. It's a nice distinction, but how can we be sure the person you are supposedly helping is making the same one? So despite our best intentions, there is always the risk that criticism will in fact be taken personally. Now consider this: what if one's self esteem or pride is all they have? When you take away, perhaps unknowingly, the last thing a person feels they have, how do you think they will behave?

One has to wonder, is any criticism really useful? We can dress it up in all the right management speak, but isn't criticism, however constructive, just another form of Monday morning quarterbacking? If we are not getting the desired result from someone, shouldn't we be focusing on the desired outcome and trying to understand the person we want to deliver that outcome, rather than commenting on what they did in the past?

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140 Characters

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"

The princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: "Pardon?"

Source: You Make Me Laugh Humor List.

I have spoken highly of twitter, and despite its many uses, I took the term micro-blogging to heart, and I have used twitter literally as "what happens between blog posts". However, one thing that I had trouble with at first was the 140 character limit! It forces you to think about what you want to say and get to the point.

According to Wikipedia, Mahadev Desai, the original translator of Mahatma Gandhi's autobiography, translated "Everyone should fast and stop work" to "Let all the people of India, therefore, suspend their business on that day and observe the day as one of fasting and prayer."

I think the use of twitter has forced me to be more cognizant of getting to the point, and I have started to take this lesson over to other mediums, mostly email, but also the telephone. Just the other day, a friend of mine emailed me regarding having been let go from his company and whether I thought the settlement they offered was fair. I ended up writing an easily 1000 word response expressing my sympathy, discussing my own  experiences, sharing my thoughts and outlining some suggested courses of action. After I hit the send button I thought, how would I have responded in 140 characters or less. I knew right away: "Get a qualified opinion on the settlement offer. Consult a labor lawyer or expert." This would have been a much better response.

Further Reading: Some tips on living within 140 characters.

How about this for getting to the point: Subscribe to the Life Sutra today!

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