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Letting Go
By Brick | April 8, 2008
Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.
- Friedrich von Schiller German dramatist & poet (1759 - 1805)
You know, I hear a lot of quotes and sayings like the one above. So many great people, famous people, and would be mentors extolling us to “follow your dreams”, and “don’t give up until you reach the goal”. Naturally, we look to famous or great people who have met success and are living their dreams for advice on achieving ours. Our logic goes something like this: by looking at the characteristics of this special group of people we can figure out how they did it. Like the quote above, we discover a set of traits, like sticking to one’s goals at all costs, taking risks, never giving up, etc. The formula is then quite simple: develop these characteristics in ourselves.
Here’s the problem with this logic: what we often forgot to do or consider is to take a look at a less visible group of people: people who have failed, people who spent their life chasing a dream that never came to fruition and look at their attributes and behaviours. We would probably discover that some of the same characteristics are shared by this set of people, characteristics like “always following your dream”. What does this mean? One logical conclusion is that achieving your dreams may be more a matter of luck than anything else.
Am I advocating that one does not follow one’s dream? That we give up when the going gets tough? That a mind focused squarely on a goal is not any better than a lazy one? Not at all. I am just wondering if there is some authenticity, some power in accepting that even if we put our entire being into achieving a dream or certain goal, we might not achieve a given end. Why is this authentic? Because if you accept that you will probably fail in spite of your best efforts, and you still want to walk on that journey - it is probably something you truly love. It is probably infinitely worth your time.
I think it also reminds us of the power we have to choose not to work towards a given goal. I think many, including myself, suffer from dream/goal clutter. Ideas and passions we have accumulated through our lives that are all very worthy, and because they are so worthy we do not even allow ourselves to think to let them go. There is a sense of guilt for not staying true to an earlier or even current intention, investment in time, passion and emotion.
How about an example? Years ago, I used to play music semi-professionally. I had a dream that I would be a famous musician. I would lose myself in my playing and it felt so right. This dream stirred my entire being. Life has moved on since then, and suffice it to say, I don’t play much anymore, but I think I have never allowed myself to let go of this dream. When listening to music, I would imagine myself playing as much as anything else. Last night it occurred to me, finally, that I would probably not become a famous musician some day and that it was really ok to let go of this dream. I can only describe it as relief. Last night, for the first time, I listened to some music and truly enjoyed just listening to music - without the guilt and/or overhead of an unfulfilled goal. Keep true to the dreams of thy youth - I don’t think so.
Thanks
To James Jordon for the great photograph.
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